


an ark of acacia wood

by Kaesa



Series: Kaesa's Whumptober 2019 fics [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Discorporation (Good Omens), Hostage Situations, M/M, Pre-Arrangement (Good Omens), Whumptober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-27 03:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21112070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaesa/pseuds/Kaesa
Summary: Jerusalem has fallen and Dagon wants to capture the Ark of the Covenant (again), but Crawly just wants to get out of this alive.





	an ark of acacia wood

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Whumptober 2019 prompt "human shield." The shield is not exactly human here, but I feel it's in the spirit of the prompt.

It was two against two, and Dagon was gripping one of the angels tight, holding a black glass knife to his throat, so really, it was one angel against two demons and the angel's own conscience.

Crawly was trying very hard not to make eye contact with the one Dagon was holding hostage, because of course, he would recognize Crawly immediately and he would probably say some blessed fool thing like "Oh, Crawly, haven't seen you in a while, been besieging Jerusalem long?"

The other angel had a spear in one hand and a shield in the other, and an _I'm disappointed but I'm so not surprised _look on his face. Crawly was given to understand this was the angel who'd been meant to be protecting Jerusalem, although he clearly hadn't done a very good job of it lately, as evidenced by the startling lack of Jerusalem all around them. He looked like a human who hadn't slept for a week, which was impressive because he really shouldn't have needed sleep at all.

"Go on, tell us where the Ark is," said Dagon, favoring the spear angel with a pointy grin. "Tell us, or your friend gets it."

"I keep telling you," said the captive angel -- Aziraphale, that was his name -- "we don't know! None of us knows where it is --"

"Do you really think I'm stupid enough to believe that?" Dagon asked, her eyes gleaming. "Do you think I'm fool enough to think that Heaven's lost track of the _Ark of the Covenant?_"

"Your breath is _terrible,_ by the way," said Aziraphale. Dagon growled at him. "What? It is. Smells of fish."

"Aziraphale, I think you're making things worse," ventured the other angel. "Look," he said to Dagon, "he's telling the truth. Heaven has no idea where the thing is -- or if they do, they sure aren't telling me -- and you won't get it threatening him. You want answers, try asking Nebuzaradan, maybe he knows." He shrugged expansively.

"You're the Principality of Jerusalem," said Dagon, "and you're admitting you _lost the Ark of the Covenant?_"

"I mean, labels are, they're... whatever," said the other angel. "But _technically_ I'm a Power. Look, point is, last place I saw it was the temple, temple's not here anymore -- _nothing's _here anymore -- and I'm not real happy about that, so maybe get out of here before I skewer the both of you." He waved his spear menacingly. "Been a _long_ few years and I'm running out of patience. Besides, I seem to remember last time the Ark was anywhere near you it didn't go well, Dagon."

"That's -- that's immaterial!" said Dagon, wrongfooted. Crawly watched with more curiosity now, because he hadn't heard about _this._

"It actually seemed pretty material at the time," said the other angel, smug as anything. "Gold, wasn't it?"

"That's -- that's not -- Crawly, attack him!" Dagon snarled.

"With what?" Crawly demanded. "He's got a big fuckoff spear!"

"Ugh, _fine,_ if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself, is what I always say," she said. "Take the prisoner; slit his throat if Cerviel tries anything." She shoved Aziraphale at him, and he grabbed the angel around the neck and waist.

"Really, Crawly?" Aziraphale whispered, not even bothering to struggle. It was a bit disappointing, actually. "As if it's not enough, destroying the city, you've come to --"

"What destroying? I never touched Jerusalem," hissed Crawly, in his ear.

"Oh, do you really mean to tell me your lot had nothing to do with --"

"Yesss, actually. Frankly, I assumed it was your lot," said Crawly.

"We would _never!_"

Crawly tried not to think about how the rising flush on the angel's cheeks looked, or the smell of his hair. "Oh, yeah?" he asked. "Sodom and Gomorrah ring any bells? What about that flood, angel?"

"I..." The angel trailed off, his attention elsewhere. Crawly followed his gaze and saw the other angel -- Cerviel, he supposed -- standing over Dagon, a spear in her belly, as she struggled and fought to the last breath. "Oh dear. I think you're meant to be slitting my throat," said Aziraphale. "Not that I'm complaining if you don't. But if you _must,_ do get it over with quickly, please."

Crawly felt something terrible happen in his chest, thinking about this _absolute idiot of an angel _in his arms, and before he quite understood what he was doing, he'd released his hold on Aziraphale. "Go on, now, I won't tell you twice," said Crawly, and Aziraphale looked at him in disbelief. "This whole Ark of the Covenant business is stupid anyway, I certainly didn't fancy carrying it back to Hell and melting my fingers off," he whispered.

Aziraphale stumbled away from him uncertainly.

Cerviel pulled his spear out of Dagon's lifeless body, and looked up. His eyes met Crawly's, and Crawly decided not to stick around. Even as he saw Cerviel raising his arm to throw, he turned and fled.

"Cerviel!" Aziraphale shouted. "Don't!" There was a terrible sound of flesh being pushed aside by something sharp, and a gasp.

Crawly stopped running. He turned around, and saw Cerviel, now ashen-faced and horrified, staring at Aziraphale's body lying pinned to the ground by a spear. "Oh, oh no," he said to Aziraphale's corpse. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean...."

There was a strange, terrible noise in Crawly's head now, the sound of roaring hellfire, and he stalked back to where Aziraphale lay -- where Cerviel still had not pulled out his spear. Aziraphale's dead eyes looked up, pleadingly. "Don't worry, you can sssay you're sssorry in perssson," he hissed, and became a great black snake. He curled around Cerviel's body and squeezed as Cerviel's fingers clawed uselessly at his scales.

He wrapped himself around Cerviel's neck. It would take more than stopping his breathing to discorporate an angel, so Crawly poured all the terror and wrath into Cerviel that he could stand to channel, and sank now-venomous fangs into Cerviel's thick neck for good measure, and stayed there until he felt the angel's heart stop.

Cerviel slumped to the ground, glassy-eyed.

Crawly slithered off of him and surveyed his work. No traces of the Ark of the Covenant, but two of the enemy had been discorporated, and he _had _been the last being standing -- well, slithering. It should have been a victory.

Crawly told himself he'd done a good job, which was to say, a very evil job, and next time he showed his face in Hell maybe he could gloat about how easily Dagon had fallen to the enemy.

He told himself this, and it didn't help at all as he slithered off into the ruins of Jerusalem alone.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're wondering what happened with Dagon and the Ark before, [God visited an embarrassing personal problem upon her worshipers](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emerods).


End file.
